Thankfully, I am nice and chill after a joint and my just start second drink 🍸 😌

I have so much to do but I usually push myself to get it all done in one go but it physically crippling to do so with hours or preferably a couple of days to recover. I don’t have that. Real life just keeps going.

I have truthfully been trying to get to this point where I would or more importantly could allow myself to stop and take breaks in between cleaning. Now I have no choice, or hmm how do I explain this clearly 🤔

I could push myself in this state, actually no I can’t. As I type this I have been hit with such and intense wave of pain so far past 10 to remind me that whatever I get done and achieved is enough. It is more than enough. I am enough. Exactly as I am.

I’m no longer in a pain flare up. I’m just permanently in a state of extreme chronic pain throughout my entire my body which is exhausting in itself. I have managed to vacuum my kitchen, laundry, toilet and hallway so far and I am extremely proud of myself.

Today has been a hell of a day. Very much a roller-coaster of emotions. Come to think of it that is probably why I haven’t made a video as yet. I am absolutely exhausted and feel like so much has happened that I could cry at any moment. Now that I’m actually thinking about it, tonight’s video will be pretty short I’d say.

My pain levels are taking over as I type and I really need to finish what I am doing and have a hot shower and crash onto my bed. I will finish the vacuming in the morning before Graham arrives 😊

Thankfully, most of this mess will be easily packed up as soon as I have finished with the bloody capsules 😒😐