I had such a lovely day but now I feel so sad πŸ˜ž

I am so much better at handling my emotions in most situations but there are still a few that trigger me badly enough to cause all my pain and anger to come straight to the surface, usually resulting in tears. Like right now. I’m lying in bed crying wondering why I keep bothering.

I feel every single emotion so deeply, so intensely and I’m over it. Over feeling everything to this extreme.

I am sick and tired of people using me and then throwing shit in my face.

These past couple of days I have realised something. And that is being alone suits me. I am always alone for a reason. Most people don’t understand me and since I no longer understand me either, that makes sense.

I am going to stop trying to make friends. I have been trying to make new friends for so many years, it’s time to accept it’s never going to happen.

And now my darkness is right here in the forefront of everything and once again I can’t stop crying 😒

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