It was 4:30 in the morning and shit had gone down that I still need to share in a story but that’s not for now when I have so much uni work to do lol
6 Years. It feels good. Especially since I truly believed back then that I would smoke it forever. I mean, I loved it. That’s why people become addicted.
But I knew I had to do something. Something I did understand or really even know what. All I knew was that I was supposed to share stories. All stories of every kind, even the really ‘bad’ ones, to show others they aren’t alone.
That so many of us have done shit that couldn’t have believed was possible when we were kids. There’s no way I would have believed someone if they had told me how my life would turn out.
I am extremely happy and grateful for my life now, but for over 30 years, I dreamed about death. About dying and how badly I wanted it. Even now, though, my darkness can engulf me so quickly pulling me down into the darkness, where those thoughts still reside, it’s just that now I am much better at getting myself out of it and thankfully so much quicker than before.
I got clean of ice for many reasons, but it was the knowledge that I would get to a stage where I could eventually share, share on a level most people can’t even comprehend, to help, is what I held onto in the moments where my ego wanted to break me.
And so now I share. I share everything. Because feeling like you are completely alone in the world is what almost killed me. I now fully believe that we are all connected. Absolutely every single person on this planet has the ability to change their circumstances by going within and working out what you can do to become a better version of yourself.
It doesn’t happen overnight. It took a number of months for me to quit ice. I quit then un quit and then quit again on a ridiculous cycle regarding cigarettes and e vaping. I know it’s insanely bad for me, and yet, it still gets me sometimes. No one is perfect. But we can all learn so much by turning inward.
I decided to make this video to share the conversation I was having with my masseuse haha didn’t that take a hell of a turn hahaha