I feel nice, calm and at ease πŸ˜Œ

It’s strange how you can feel such contrasting emotions within days. And varying strengths added too, mind you.

There’s still a number of things that I have to do, but, right now at least, I can see how unimportant it is in what time frame that takes. I mean, sure, when it comes to my house full of stuff that needs to be sorted through, I would like to get that done sooner rather than later, but when I feel as calm and good as I do now, I know absolutely everything will get done. I will survive. I have handled everything that has come my way, to the best of my abilities, for, as long as I can remember.

On days like today, I can see and focus on what is happening in the background. In different dimensions and timelines. I know I am safe. I know everything is going according to plan. That one day, I absolutely will have the full time help that I require to achieve what I came to this planet for, and that right now, everything is exactly as it’s supposed to be. Because that’s how it is.

I can look back on Wednesday evening, and Thursday and see what I was doing. Though I am choosing to see it all and myself through the eyes of love. I did my best and that’s all anyone can ask of themselves. In the reality setting, nothing in my life actually happened to cause me to spiral. Except me interrupting my boss by accident , who had called me after our online work meeting. I am trying sohard not to do this, so that combined with his response of “may I please speak now”, set me off. So, simple. He knows that I am working on not doing it. He was fine and the conversation went well.

Ok, so not nothing happened, but something extremely minor set my mind off on such a rapid descent into darkness, that it is now very easy to see the more I type this out, just how mean I truly am to myself. Huh. Well there you go.

Another thing I have realised recently, is that I get different things out of writing a blog like this, or talking to my camera. Both I love. One day, I hope to make this my full-time career. Full-time in the sense, I can work my own hours, I can pay someone to work for me as a personal assistant, and get to travel as a Storyteller all over the world, telling stories in my own one woman show. Helping to inspire and teach while sharing stories of lived experience combined with knowledge gained over the course of my lifetime, from stages to large audiences.

But for now, I am going to keep on sharing, exactly as I do now. And when I write something that really help me like the beginning of this post, I am going to print my own words out and put them where I can read them.

Everything that needs to be done, will be.

But for now, I am going to continue on from where I leftnoff, reading my own stories back to me. Think I have less than half of April 2021 posts to read.

Boss tried to steal my spot, but he eventually moved over. I just moved my laptop so I could get up and now he’s lying on me ☺️

My beautiful boy

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